Teaching = Humility Builder

I think that for several years I have misinterpreted the look that I’ve received when I told people that I wanted to be a teacher. I always thought that the look was condescending and that the giver of the look was implying that I must lack the intellectual capacity to do anything else with my life. Now that I’m in my second year of teaching, I understand the look to be more along the lines of, “You must have an infinite amount of patience and energy, because I know that I don’t have what it takes to do what you do.”

That may sound conceited or arrogant, but I don’t mean for it to. What I’ve discovered is that teaching is an incredible humility builder, and if you can’t take being knocked down several times a day (at least 3 times, and I don’t literally mean being knocked down), it’s a hard career.

It could be that I’m too hard on myself. It may very well be that my lessons are better than I think they are, or that my students could be retaining more information than they express to me. At any rate, I spend a great amount of my day in reflection as to how to make things better- and when I say make things better, I mean make me better.

It’s humbling because there are always areas that can be improved. Even on days where the lessons go well, the students are even more well-behaved than they would be normally, I’m finding areas where I can be more dynamic and more effective to create a better learning environment.

I guess the best way to sum it up is like this: “There’s always room for improvement. It’s the biggest room in the house.”

Thursday Thoughts

“To love what you do and feel that it matters–how could anything be more fun?” ~Katherine Graham

The Work Grind

It’s been a little bit since I’ve posted anything pretty substantial, but I’ve really been on the work grind.

Last week, some teammates and I all traveled to Orlando, Florida to attend the KIPP School Summit.  The trip was awesome, and I learned a lot about the structure of KIPP and I had the opportunity to meet lots of people from the KIPP schools across the country.

Now that we’re back in North Carolina, it’s been a lot of work to prepare for the school year and for the new students who are joining the school.  Between whole group sessions, grade level sessions, and getting the school ready for the kids it’s been crazy.

Despite how busy things have been, I still maintain that it’s a blessing to be busy because it means that you’re trusted with much.  This job will be a stretch for me and a challenge- new materials, new environment, done in a new way.  However, as much as I’m confident that it’ll be a stretch, I’m even more confident in God’s ability to equip me with all that I need and more.  Besides, it’s not until we’re stretched beyond our comfort zones that we grow.

Through it all, I’m grateful for having a job, and I’m really enjoying getting to know my teammates.  It’s gonna be a great year!

Until next time…

Back to School!

I made it through the first day!

Isn’t that what we all think about our first day anywhere?  Be it a new job or a new school, I think we all breathe a sigh of relief at the end of the first day.  I think we all go into these situations with anxiety, as we’re curious about what to expect.  How will we fit into the environment?  How will the other people in this new environment be?  What will my role be?  Will it meet my expectations?

After my first day at new teacher orientation for my new school, I feel great.  However, I feel great in an apprehensive kind of way.  I’m in an environment where the stakes are high, accountability and responsibility are not just buzz words, and there’s a thread of commonality amongst team members about why we each are there.

Although we didn’t put in a full day of work, we did work hard…and I’m tired!  I think part of what makes returning to work exhausting is the mental aspect, where you really are directing your thoughts and focusing on activities after not having to do so (or not having to do so as much) for a while.  Nevertheless, I feel a good exhaustion; one that results from time well spent being a part of something that matters beyond yourself and your personal interests.

That said, I’ve got some things to do to prepare for tomorrow…and one of those things includes being well rested!  I’m really hoping that I stay awake for the finale of the Bachelorette  (I’m embarassed that I even mentioned that show on my blog, for the record).

Until next time…

All My Bags Are Packed…

Well, my bags aren’t QUITE packed, but I’m READY TO GO.  It’s been a while since I’ve written, because the life of a teacher gets to be crazy around the end of the year.  There are tons of end of the year shenanigans: meetings, parties, final exams, review sessions, and for me…preparing to move.

Yup.  I’m going to make another move.

After being in the Sunshine State for just under a year, I’ll be calling it quits…and heading to a land that is much more familiar, but still somewhat unknown: the Old North State.  Yes!  Heading back home to North Carolina!

While I haven’t detailed it much here, it’s been a particularly difficult year for me in Florida.  Between challenges with my school, the students, and their parents; along with never really feeling quite “settled”…I thought it was best to leave before I got too attached.  Along with the desire to be somewhere where at least a few people know my name, have family close, and be even more cautiously optimistic as I partake in what continues to be one of the biggest blessings to my life.

I will still be teaching.  As I began the journey of figuring out what was next, a big question was whether the classroom was truly the place for me.  Was I able to fully exercise and utilize my gifts and talents by working in the classroom setting?  After much thought and prayer, I realized that my calling is to a classroom.  I love the energy and watching their eyes light up as the connections are made.  But what I love most is that classrooms are still full of possibility.  There are full of what’s to come, of what could be.  And I’m thankful that God has given me the desire to be a part of that possibility, as well as the ability to handle that responsibility.

The next stop on my journey will be Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina.  I’ll be working as a teacher at the KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory School.  I’ve been impressed with KIPP Schools since seeing the founders on Oprah a few years back, and I feel extremely blessed to be able to work in that environment.  Of course, a new environment creates new challenges, but I’m very excited about what’s to come.

Of course life wouldn’t be life if there weren’t too many things to take care of in too little time.  However, in the midst of all of the “things”, I’ve been able to enjoy myself.  Memorial Day weekend was awesome- laid back and enjoyable, with some time spent at the beach, and I enjoyed my last Jewish holiday of the school year, Shavout (it’s when the Jews received the Torah from God) by taking a short trip to the Bahamas.  Life is good.

At any rate, I’ll be grinding it out for the next week or so, as I make it to the end of the year.  Then I’ll make a quick trip to North Carolina for a very special graduation, and then it’s back here to pack it up and move it out.  To sum up Florida:  “…all of my good days outweigh my bad days and I won’t complain.”

As for now, back to the grind!  Until next time…

it’s been entirely too long

I don’t know why I haven’t posted.  It’s been so long since I’ve started a post, that now WordPress has this new design.  I’m super confused.  I’ll consider this incentive to post more often.

It’s December.  As of today, I’ve been working at my school for 4 months.  The best way that I can sum up my experience is with an India.Arie quote:  “So far from where I started out, so far from where I want to be.”  I’m excited and thankful because I’ve seen growth and progress in my teaching, as well as in my students.  I’m energized because I know that I have many more areas to improve upon.  That knowledge is part of what keeps me going back to school day after day.  And as it is with many things, there are good days and bad days.  Sometimes I feel like I’m living for the weekend…which subsequently makes me feel extremely guilty.  If I’m living for the 2.5 days that exist from Friday afternoon until Monday morning, what does that say about the worth I’m placing on the other 4.5 days?  The challenge is to not take things personally, to be in the profession, but not OF the profession.  But I feel that having that mentality would not only cheat me, but it would cheat my students of having a teacher who cares enough to give her best.

On to other things- isn’t it weird that as we get older, we become more cognizant of our insecurities, strengths, and weaknesses?  At 25, I feel more confident and increasingly more aware of my abilities- yet I also feel more insecure about my weaknesses.  I’ve always felt like I’ve had it together.  But when my inabilities are introduced to the knowledge and competence of others, I feel completely frustrated and overwhelmed…especially if it’s related to something that I feel that I SHOULD know how to do, I just don’t.

Perhaps this sounds ridiculous, but I just don’t know why I can’t accept that I don’t know.  Maybe being in a profession that cultivates and encourages knowledge, it’s difficult to accept not having it.  Hmmm…

All in all, life is good.  Still hanging on down near the most southern part of the US.  I’m feeling more encouraged than before, and I’m hopeful that seeing family during the holidays will do the trick.  Be hopeful with me…