Adjusting

One thing that I know about myself is that I don’t really handle change well.  While I’m always excited about the possibility of change, and I realize that change is really the only constant, that still doesn’t give me the ability to handle it well.

I believe that I’m pretty resilient, and surprisingly, pretty flexible.  So, changes in my work environment or within the context of relationships don’t bother me too much (unless they are EXTREME changes).

All that said, it’s still an adjustment to be in North Carolina.  While I’m glad to be back, anytime that you move you have to make the necessary changes.  I feel like the last two weeks have had me in a frenzy of getting everything set up and turned on, and now that all of those things are taken care of I’m just left to my own devices (also known as unpacking).

As much as I was ready to move back to North Carolina, I miss elements of my life in Florida.  And although I’ve been out of Georgia for a year, I miss elements of my life there as well.

I think that what I miss most is having that core group of people there to support me.  Twitter and Gchat can only provide so much encouragement.  While I know there’s a difference between being alone and being lonely, I feel like I’m walking that line.

I’m sure that as I begin work and school, things will pick up and I’ll be too busy to think about things like this.  But until then…it is what it is, I suppose.

Feels Good to Be Home: NC Edition

I’m back in North Carolina.

I’m at home.

It feels great.

That’s the short version of the story. It’s taken me a while to get to a place where I can blog for a little bit (hello, I’m in a small town now, and people just don’t have the same urgency to connect you with necessities such as internet).

The journey wasn’t too bad. I was worried about how Q and I would fare in the car with a lot of my earthly possessions for an extended period of time.  It was a wonderfully successful trip, between lots of listening to Michael Jackson, talking on the phone to family and friends, a stop at Bojangles, and a quite interesting discovery at a rest stop. 

Roanoke Rapids is nice. It reminds me of a more urban Hillsborough, with a more diverse population. Even in it’s niceness, it’s a far cry from the activity of the Fort Lauderdale/Miami area that I had become slightly accustomed to.

What I love most is that I’m close to many people that I love and hold dear to my heart. After being hundreds of miles (and hundreds of dollars) away, gassing up the car for a quick hour and half journey is so worth it. One visit to Chapel Hill for a night at He’s Not Here confirmed that all was well. The second confirmation was this weekend, after traveling over to Camden for a wonderful 4th of July celebration.

What I do not miss, or rather, what I do not like, is the unpacking process. I dislike it almost as much as I dislike packing. I’m taking it step by step, and I’m starting to see my apartment take shape. Slowly but surely, I’m feeling at home.

I’m excited that my mother will be visiting in a couple of weeks so that she can put her motherly stamp on my apartment. In the meantime, I’ll settle for unpacking, one box at a time, while becoming a little too spoiled by Directv.

Until next time…

Evading Responsibility

I’ve been doing a great job of shirking my responsibilities in this period of time since school ended last Wednesday.  I’ve found ways to start new art projects and hobbies (Michael’s has become my new favorite hangout), read books, watched movies, taken naps, and hang out with friends.  However, I’ve only had limited time to pack my apartment.

Sigh.

It’s really that I hate packing.  And it’s not that I haven’t done ANY packing.  I’ve packed my living room, and half of my closet.  That just leaves the kitchen, pantry, bathroom, and the other half of my closet.  And the movers aren’t coming until Saturday.  That means I have plenty of time, right?

You can consider this blog entry as a sufficient way for me to yet again, evade the responsbility of packing.  Today’s goal includes packing the pantry, the bathroom, and the other half of my closet.  That will just leave me with having to do the kitchen, and get those clothes out of my dresser into their respective suitcases.

I am proud to announce that it’s very likely that this will happen.  Partially because I don’t really have anything else planned today to prevent it, and partially because it’s entirely too hot outside to venture out to do anything else.

But, I really do need some help.  If you know some people who are able and willing to help, please send them my way.  I think your recommendations are safer than that of my BFF, who recommended that I go to Home Depot early in the morning and secure some day laborers to help me pack for $50.  I guess that’s what friends are for?

Anyhow, enough of this evading responsibility.  I’m off to try and make some things happen.  Until next time…

So Proud…

I normally wouldn’t do this, but some things are worth recognizing.

Big shout out to Quinton Sawyer on his new position as Head Athletic Trainer at Campbell University.  You can check out the awesome press release on Quinton here.

So…this should help to further dispute the idea that there aren’t any good black males out there.  There are, and you know it.  And while I know it’s tempting, don’t run out and try to holla at Quinton.  I don’t think his girlfriend would like that too much.

Congrats Q!

All My Bags Are Packed…

Well, my bags aren’t QUITE packed, but I’m READY TO GO.  It’s been a while since I’ve written, because the life of a teacher gets to be crazy around the end of the year.  There are tons of end of the year shenanigans: meetings, parties, final exams, review sessions, and for me…preparing to move.

Yup.  I’m going to make another move.

After being in the Sunshine State for just under a year, I’ll be calling it quits…and heading to a land that is much more familiar, but still somewhat unknown: the Old North State.  Yes!  Heading back home to North Carolina!

While I haven’t detailed it much here, it’s been a particularly difficult year for me in Florida.  Between challenges with my school, the students, and their parents; along with never really feeling quite “settled”…I thought it was best to leave before I got too attached.  Along with the desire to be somewhere where at least a few people know my name, have family close, and be even more cautiously optimistic as I partake in what continues to be one of the biggest blessings to my life.

I will still be teaching.  As I began the journey of figuring out what was next, a big question was whether the classroom was truly the place for me.  Was I able to fully exercise and utilize my gifts and talents by working in the classroom setting?  After much thought and prayer, I realized that my calling is to a classroom.  I love the energy and watching their eyes light up as the connections are made.  But what I love most is that classrooms are still full of possibility.  There are full of what’s to come, of what could be.  And I’m thankful that God has given me the desire to be a part of that possibility, as well as the ability to handle that responsibility.

The next stop on my journey will be Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina.  I’ll be working as a teacher at the KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory School.  I’ve been impressed with KIPP Schools since seeing the founders on Oprah a few years back, and I feel extremely blessed to be able to work in that environment.  Of course, a new environment creates new challenges, but I’m very excited about what’s to come.

Of course life wouldn’t be life if there weren’t too many things to take care of in too little time.  However, in the midst of all of the “things”, I’ve been able to enjoy myself.  Memorial Day weekend was awesome- laid back and enjoyable, with some time spent at the beach, and I enjoyed my last Jewish holiday of the school year, Shavout (it’s when the Jews received the Torah from God) by taking a short trip to the Bahamas.  Life is good.

At any rate, I’ll be grinding it out for the next week or so, as I make it to the end of the year.  Then I’ll make a quick trip to North Carolina for a very special graduation, and then it’s back here to pack it up and move it out.  To sum up Florida:  “…all of my good days outweigh my bad days and I won’t complain.”

As for now, back to the grind!  Until next time…

Sweet Caroline…

My Name is Erin, and I Went to UNC

“When you play North Carolina, there’s nothing you can do.” ~ Tom Izzo

Tom, you’re right.  You learned that twice this year.  Once in December, and then just last night.  You all really had a good run.  You really did.  But what it all comes down to is that you’re not North Carolina.

As a UNC alum, there are few moments that affect you like a National Championship.  I remember being on Franklin Street after we won in 2005.  As a senior, that national championship was my one shining moment.  Sitting on my friend’s shoulder, surrounded by thousands of my closest friends and fellow Tar Heel fans is one of my favorite memories of my time at UNC.

I’ve said before that I agree with Thomas Wolfe, as he described his time at UNC as, “…as close to magic as I’ve ever been.”  I’m blessed that there are still times like these, where I feel that magic.

4.5 minutes from the Southern Part of Heaven

I know you love your alma mater.  But I’m sure your alma mater doesn’t hold a candle to mine.  Here’s one of the many reasons that UNC-Chapel Hill is such a special place:

It’s nothing like the streakers that we had…but you got love change.  A rave in the UL during finals…that’s definitely change that I can believe in.  Hark the sound!

UNC Cites Progress for Black Faculty

Progress for Black Faculty

The Daily Tar Heel did a good job with the above article. However, what becomes more disturbing, and hints at the racism that is still prevalent in our society, are the comments that people have posted online.

One of the notions discussed is that of being a society that is colorblind; a society where we don’t examine race, and it doesn’t matter because we’re all being judged by our merits. While I would love to live in a society where race doesn’t matter, I am also very aware of how my race has shaped me. And in all honesty, people being colorblind to that can lead to much insensitivity. I’ve experienced the “colorblind phenomenon”, as I’ll call it, when people of other races have said “I don’t even think of you as black. You’re just like me.”

Well, while that’s a nice thought- I’m NOT like you, and it’s offensive to me for that to be said. When someone exercises this “colorblind phenomenon” towards specific blacks (or people of other races), what they really mean is that you’re not part of the stereotype that I had of this group. And since you’re not part of this stereotype, I’m not going to think of you as being a part of that group.

Now, since we all know that races are monolithic (note the sarcasm), and that people were lying when they said there’s more variation within races than between them, OF COURSE, I can’t possibly be black if I: can’t dance, can’t sing, don’t wear ‘urban clothes’, am ‘articulate’, etc. etc…

Sometimes I wish we’d give more thought to the things we say, noting what’s implied by our comments. I believe that the idea of being colorblind should really be replaced with the notion of having heightened sensitivity to our cultural differences. I am proud to be black, and I don’t want my ‘blackness’ stripped away (of course, it never can be) in this quest for ‘colorblindness’. I just feel that if we are sensitive to our words, thoughts, and actions; ‘colorblindness’ won’t be necessary.

Again, I’m Proud of UNC

Dorm name honors slave – University

UNC has been conscious of its history as a white institution in the South, and what that may mean for people of color. And, UNC has made strides in promoting all aspects of its history. The renaming of Hinton James North Residence Hall after George Moses Horton is yet another step in the right direction.

On February 7, I could say that I was proud of my alma mater because we beat Duke. Today I can say that I’m proud for a different reason.