What Do You Do On Your Day Off?

I’ve been enjoying some time off, courtesy of Rosh Hashanah, and it’s a weird feeling.  I’m used to having the weekends off, not a random Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday.  I’ve been spending time catching up on all the stuff that I’d love to do on a Saturday, but I’m unable to because college football has my attention; or what I’d do on a Sunday but after church, all things related to school take over.  So, here’s what I’ve been up to on my days off:

1.  Going to the bank, cleaners, and other places that I generally can’t make it to because I’m at work

2.  Actually eating breakfast (no bagels on the go!)

3.  Watching Good Morning America

4.  Getting AHEAD on my work (yay for completing powerpoints, getting some grading done, and doing some lesson plans)

5.  Going to the cleaners

6.  Reading blogs (okay, I do this when I have to work too, but much more when I don’t)

7.  Organizing my calendar (don’t want to forget things to do)

8.  Catching up with friends and family

9.  Do some planning for my business

10.Catch up on blogging

11.Relax, relate, release!

So…what do YOU do on your day off?

Books I’ve Recently Read

Those who know me, know that I LOVE to read…it’s more than a hobby for me, it’s kind of a lifestyle.  I can go to Borders, Barnes and Noble, or even the book sections in Wal-Mart and Target and stay for hours.  I’m amazed that there are so many things wrapped up in books and I want to know them all.

Teaching doesn’t give me MUCH free time to read anymore, so I’m forced to handle it when I can.  This usually consists of reading while I’m at the hair salon, the bathroom (disgusting, I know….but please don’t act like you don’t do it), or when I need to wind down.  Here’s the books that I’ve recently read:

1.     You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah by Fiona Rosenbloom

2.     We are SO Crashing Your Bar Mitzvah by Fiona Rosenbloom

3.     Letters to a Young Teacher by Jonathan Kozol

About books 1&2: I work at a Jewish Community Day School, and it’s important that I understand the rites of passage for my students.  This book is being read in the Pre Bar/Bat Mitzvah class taught by one of the teachers that I share a classroom with.  To say that these books are hilarious would be a serious understatement.  By following the life of Stacy Freidman, a precocious middle-schooler trying to navigate the world as she knows it, the reader gets insight into Jewish customs and culture, as well as the thoughts of a typical American teenage girl.  It’s easy reading and fun.  I HIGHLY recommend it.

Book 3:  I snagged this book while also purchasing the Complete Idiot’s Guide to Understanding Judaism.  I’ve read other books by Jonathan Kozol, and this did not disappoint.  I love the way that he imparts wisdom through sharing letters with a young teacher named Francesca.  While the book includes some educational politics, I felt that the way that Kozol shared his knowledge and expressed his frustrations at the current educational system was what truly made this book special.  This is a great book for new teachers, but also for more experienced teachers who may wonder why they do what they do.

The Thrill of Victory…

I’m always proud to be an alumna of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.  However, on Saturday, I was ESPECIALLY proud, as I witnessed my Tar Heels sneak a victory over the Hurricanes of the University of Miami.

Here’s me enjoying the game (yes, from the UM section):

Me, enjoying the view from Hurricane territory

Nothing like being a Tar Heel fan, especially when you get to hear things like this, as so eloquently stated by a disappointed UM fan, “Man, we got beat by an f***ing basketball school.”  Dude, you sure did…and we loved every bit of it!

Go Heels!

PS:  I am also an alumna of the University of Georgia.  I was deeply saddened by their being massacred on Saturday evening.  That’s all I have to say about that.

Managing Faith

Is it even possible to manage your faith?  My thought is no- that your faith is/should be such an overwhelming aspect of your life that it, along with your convictions should dictate your decisions and dictate your life.

If only it were that easy.

I always find my faith to be just enough for where I am, but I have a hard time envisioning it to be enough for what I need, or where I want to go.  I have faith that God has a reason for me being in Florida.  I don’t feel that I have enough faith that God will place me at the right church, with the right people, and help me make the right friends that will make living in Florida worthwhile.

I feel like faith requires a certain diligence, that I honestly haven’t freely and consistently exhibited in this process.  I have visited churches regularly, but not consistently.  I have prayed regularly, but not consistently.  I have read the Bible regularly, but not consistently.  All that said, I’ve been consistently frustrated about not having a church home and feeling that my requests to God have been ignored.

Can I even do that?  Can I really be frustrated with God when I haven’t consistently done my part?  I don’t think so.

Essentially, I feel disconnected.  I can listen to as many pod casts of church services, blast gospel music in my car and on my Ipod, but without the fellowship of believers that a church provides, I feel in the dark.  Literally.

So, I guess the goal for now is to be consistent, be faithful, and to wait and EXPECT God to act.  And try to be encouraged in the process…

The Power in Hymns

I grew up in an old-school, small, country Baptist church, and while we would sing hymns, we could usually be found singing just a few:  Pass Me Not, Blessed Assurance, What A Friend We Have in Jesus, I Know it Was the Blood…and a few others.  It wasn’t until I joined a Methodist church in college that I really learned some hymns.

Now, I know that my generation doesn’t usually appreciate hymns.  We usually lean more towards contemporary gospel or contemporary praise and worship.  Some of us really appreciate gospel hip-hop, and some listen to new-age christian or alternative praise and worship.  I’m part of a generation who has found unique ways to experience praise and worship through song.

Yet and still, there are some days that a hymn simply expresses the beauty of my love for Christ and the relationship that I continuously strive to grow in and maintain.  Lately, I’ve been listening to the following:

Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing

“Jesus sought me when a stranger/Wandering from the fold of God/He to rescue me from danger/Interposed his precious blood…Oh to grace how great a debtor/Daily I’m constrained to be/Let Thy goodness, like a fetter/Bind my wandering heart to Thee/Prone to wander, Lord I feel it/Prone to leave the God I love/Here’s my heart, O, take and seal it/Seal it for thy courts above.”

My Faith Looks Up to Thee

“My faith looks up to Thee/Thou lamb of Calvary, Savior Divine!/Now, hear me while I pray, take all my guilt away/Oh, let me from this day be wholly Thine…/May Thy rich grace impart/Strength to my fainting heart, my zeal inspire!/As Thou has died for me, O may my love to Thee/Pure, warm, and changeless be, a living fire!”

I Surrender All

“All to Jesus, I surrender/All to Him, I freely give/I will ever love and trust Him/In His presence daily live/I surrender all, I surrender all/All to Thee, my blessed Savior/I surrender all.”

Jesus, Keep me Near the Cross

“Jesus keep me near the cross/There a precious fountain/Free to all a healing stream/Flows from Calvary’s mountain/In the cross, in the cross/Be my glory ever/Till my raptured soul shall find/Rest beyond the river.”

As I listen to these songs and I read the history, I’m so in awe of God…and by the fact that although many of these songs are way older than I am, they can still reach the masses.  God is not bound to generations.  The same God of Abraham, David, and Paul exists for me…and is the same today, tomorrow, and forever.  Amen.

A Thank You to Tim Wise

…and thank you Carmen for sharing!  Tim Wise has just written one of the best pieces I’ve read in a long time on white privilege, explaining how it is having it’s way in the 2008 Presidential Election.

Here’s an excerpt:

“For those who still can’t grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because “every family has challenges,” even as black and Latino families with similar “challenges” are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a “fuckin’ redneck,” like Bristol Palin’s boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you’ll “kick their fuckin’ ass,” and talk about how you like to “shoot shit” for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don’t all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you’re “untested.”

A HUGE thank you to Tim Wise, for articulating this issue with white privilege in a manner so that we all could understand it.

Any Questions?

1. Why don’t you comment after reading my posts?  (I really do want to know what you think!)
2. Am I the only person who still watches Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy?
3. Don’t you think it would be cool if they did a Cosby reunion season?
4. Better yet, what about a Hillman Reunion special of A Different World?
5. Is it bad that I’m 25 and only eat kids cereal?
6. Does anyone else have a hard time remembering their new age right after their birthday?
7. Can we just fast forward to November so that we can know who the new president will be?
8. Why does Itunes have a new update that requires me to restart my computer almost once a week?
9. Shouldn’t reading OPBs (other people’s blogs) count for something other than recreation?
10. Would it be wrong to find an age fabricator from China to get me onto College Jeopardy?

Finding the Simple Victories

So, I figured that the better way to look at what I do and the challenges that I face is to find the simple victories every day.  Yesterday’s simple victory was that I finally got keys to my classrooms (yes, that was classroomS…I teach in 3 different classrooms, and do advisory in another).  Today’s simple victory was actually AGAINST the students…in that I wrote up four students for discipline.

In the giant scheme of things, I don’t consider this to be a victory at all.  Consistent discipline problems affect classroom performance for the student who is misbehaving, as well as the other students in class.  No one likes to be distracted.  However, it’s a constant struggle to remind them that we’re not peers, and one way that is done is by not tolerating behavior that is disrespectful and distracting to others.  ‘Nough said.

Perhaps the biggest simple victory would be that I’ve recently been reminded as to how AWESOME God is.  On Friday, I transitioned into the grown folks club as I celebrated my 25th birthday.  People who know me, know how much I LOVE birthdays, and this one was truly special.  As I reflect on life, I’m so grateful for the ways that God has blessed me, because I know that I am SO undeserving.  Being able to see 25, in the midst of living my dreams, with a wonderful family and a host of friends is so awesome.  Seriously, if God never did ANYTHING else, He has already done MORE THAN enough.  Yet and still, I know that the best is yet to come.

I must confess that things with the job had been getting me down; however, I’m hanging in there.  There’s a purpose and a plan for me to be here, and I will see it through.

Let me tell you something…

I’ve had to begin more than my share of sentences this week with the title of this post.  Why?  Well, think about when you were in the 6th or 8th grade.  Do you remember how much you thought you knew?  Probably not.  But ask your family- if they are honest and love you enough to tell you the truth, they will probably tell you that you NOT ONLY thought you knew EVERYTHING, but you probably had an attitude to go along with it.  I don’t know what it is about middle school that makes them feel that they have the right to tell you EVERYTHING they want you to know, and furthermore, to do so in a way that is completely rude and disrespectful.  But since, they do it, I have to counter with the “let me tell you something.”

Deep down, I believe that 8th grade is such a good age.  What’s interesting about it is that by hanging with 8th graders, I have recognized that most of us never mature beyond the 8th grade way of handling things.  And what exactly is that?  Let me see if I can explain it.

As far as I’ve observed (from working with 8th graders now and prior to this, once being an 8th grader, and being the older sibling to 3 who have just recently gotten through 8th grade), it goes like this.  Essentially, there’s a constant state of emotional vomit.  People are expressing how they feel about EVERYTHING whether it’s appropriate to or not.  Even if one learns how to contain it, it’s only a matter of time before they get to a place where everything spews out.  Other people in the person’s life are responsible for either cleaning up the emotional vomit, or receiving it.  In some cases, they (other people) are what pushes the person over the edge to the point where they are emotionally sick enough to spew every thought that they’ve ever had in life out.  And we see how contagious it is- after one person has released their emotional vomit, others feel the need to do so as well.

Healthy adults have learned (and hopefully healthy adolescents will learn) what makes them emotionally sick, and how they should handle it so that they are not puking EVERYWHERE all the time.  But there are some of us who haven’t learned, and thus we still handle problems as if we were 8th graders, although we are adults with adult problems.  And in case you didn’t know–that doesn’t really work.

As I said before, deep down, I really believe that 8th grade is a good age.  It’s also a defining point, and I think it’s very important for students to gain their confidence and be sure of themselves before they go to high school and are at the bottom of the proverbial social totem pole.  I love 8th graders because in most cases, they know enough to have an intelligent conversation, but aren’t offended if you correct them or disagree with them.  I love their excitement about relationships with others, when it is in a controlled manner.  And like most of us, I love that watching how their world is changed by a hug, or encouraging words such as, “I’m proud of you” or “You did very well today” or “Hang in there”.  We all need those things, but I feel that particularly you see how much it VISIBLY makes a difference in what’s going on with them.

The moral of this story?  I’m not sure if there is one.  But I’ll say this- I’ve learned more about LIFE through teaching 8th graders than in many other situations.  And if you don’t believe that 8th graders can teach you something, I know quite a few that you can come hang out with.

Until next time…

Why I’m in Florida

I’ve wondered several times why I made the move from Georgia to Florida.  I had a good life in Georgia.  Nice friends.  Nice church.  Good job.  Good times.

I know that I moved to Florida to chase my dreams.  Well, not really chase them so much as to see if this is what I really wanted for myself.  I’ve been saying since my senior year of high school that I wanted to be a social studies teacher.  Moving to Florida was my opportunity to make it happen.

This move has been one of the most difficult things I’ve ever experienced.  I’ve definitely been put to the test.  I frequently wonder if it was a mistake.  I often feel like I take 3 steps forward and 2 steps back.  I knew that progress doesn’t always come quickly, but I will confess that I thought it’d be easier than this.

My faith has sustained me, along with the reminder that I’m grateful for the opportunity to live my dreams.  I realize that there are people out there with dreams that they wish they could pursue.  So, even if this isn’t exactly how I would expect or desire for it to be, it’s still awesome in and of itself.  But even more, I expect that God will move greatly in my life and I will be blessed for this huge leap of faith.  No matter how I feel, I’m here because I’ve been blessed to be here, and that makes it worthwhile.

Remembering- Romans 8:18, Romans 4:20-21, 1 Corinthians 2:9, Proverbs 18:16…and also that it’s only when you extend outside of your comfort zone that you grow.  To doubly quote Robert Browning:  “Ah, but a man’s reach must exceed his grasp, or what’s a heaven for?” and “But what if I fail of my purpose here? It is but to keep the nerves at strain, to dry one’s eyes and laugh at a fall, and baffled, get up and begin again.”

But if you prefer the pop culture reference, maybe Kelly Clarkson got it right (at least I can identify when I think of this move):

“Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean…
I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly
I’ll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I’ll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won’t forget all the ones that I love
I’ll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway…”

I’m here now.  I made it.  It’s all about doing what I came to do, and making where I am where I want to be.  I may have some work to do on that last one…but hey, I’m living my dreams.  Honestly, life can’t be THAT bad.